From Celebrated Misery to Quiet Satisfaction: My Journey Back to Myself
Over the past three years, my life has shifted in ways I never imagined. I’ve moved from the spotlight of celebrated misery to a quieter, more grounded place one rooted in real satisfaction. It may not draw the same attention, but I’ve never felt more like myself.
We live in a time where struggle is not just understood, it’s admired, even romanticised. Pain and imperfection often garner applause, while peace and stability are met with silence. At one point, sharing my pain brought validation: likes, comments, connection. But when I began to share moments of calm or joy, the response was… nothing. Tumbleweed.
It made me question: does being okay make me less relatable. Should I stay quiet now that I’m “fine”?
My illness wasn’t a performance I wasn’t chasing validation. But I received it, and yes, I often thrived on it. My relationship with social media and mental health has since become complicated. There are many voices out there, some authentic, some not, and some claiming to care while doing very little. It’s easy to get swept up in it, especially when brands show interest in your pain.
It’s disorienting. I was admired when I was unwell. So why isn’t the same admiration given to healing, to being well, or simply to being okay?
That former version of me was real. But this version, the one who’s found space for stillness, joy, and healing is just as real. The difference is, this version isn’t celebrated in the same way. And that reveals something deeper: why do we trust pain more than peace?
We say we value authenticity, but often only when it’s raw, undone, or broken. But true authenticity can also be soft, whole, and quiet. And sometimes, that quietness makes others uncomfortable.
I’ve learned that I can give more when I feel full. Not just from a full cup, but from the overflow—the saucer. I’ve become more discerning about people, spaces, and even my own boundaries. I’ve stopped performing for approval. I’m living for peace now.
So if you’ve ever felt the pressure to stay in your darkness because it makes you more “relatable” I see you. But please know: healing is worth it. Even if it doesn’t trend, even if it doesn’t get the 👍.
Happiness, even when it goes unnoticed, is still happiness.
Images courtesy Harry Powell and Richard Oxford.